Women's Workplace Balancing Dilemma:
Changing Expectations and Strategies to Achieve Successful Career Integration

Starkly put, this ambivalence about women's role assumes that it is not possible to fulfill both roles ( at home and work) as well as one should and, consciously or unconsciously, results in the "dumbing down" of women, who often choose less demanding careers, or avoid some career tracks altogether.

Society is sending women conflicting messages about which elements constitute success for a woman. Should she bake a perfect blueberry pie and chauffeur around kids with sparkling white socks, or should she aspire to be a corporate attorney for a Fortune 500 company and hire a nanny and a cook to shoulder some of the household duties.

In fact, both of those images conjure up a type of perfectionism women should aspire to, which, in itself, is a problem. The fact that both ideals are diametrically opposed makes a choice even more painful. To achieve great success in one area, almost certainly means giving up on great success in the other, at least, as both work and family are structured today.

For many, as Peggy Orenstein notes in her book, Flux, Women on Sex Work, Love ,Kids and Life in a Half_Changed World, many women internalized this societal split vision and these two polar ideals. Orenstein says "I had long vacillated between two visions of womanhood, each posing a conflict between relationships and the self. There was Good Woman who earns approval by giving to those around her at the expense of her own needs and there was the New Woman, who pursues her own desires but risks ending up alone."

Starkly put, this ambivalence about women's role assumes that it is not possible to fulfill both roles as well as one should and, consciously or unconsciously, results in the "dumbing down" of women, who often choose less demanding careers, or avoid some career tracks altogether.

Expectations

At the height of the women's movement, women were told they could be whatever they wanted, so dream big. When women tried that, we soon had to face and address the real obstacles in our career path. Overcoming those, even to a degree which was considerably short of complete success, took extraordinary effort. If one was also married, or had a significant other, the burdens of the household were an additional strain and the issue of whether or not to have children often translated into whether or not to have a successful career or just resign oneself to being primarily a housewife.

Women, unquestionably, shoulder the burden of being the primary household manager, caregiver, and, when children arrive, the nurturing mother, at home.

One of the outcomes was that women often took it upon themselves to lower their expectations at work, in order to fulfill their obligations at home. A woman might choose to stay in a position in human resources, for example, rather than seek as job as a line executive, responsible for profits. Her career prospects would definitely be enhanced as a line executive but that career path might force her to travel, or subject her family to frequent moves.

This avoidance of career opportunities not only extracts an emotional as well as career price, hindering advancement but also affects the balance of power in the home, as the primary wage earner garners more prestige and respect and increasingly dominates the decision making. This unfortunate cycle leaves the woman with even fewer choices and increasingly less opportunity to grow and move along a successful career path.

Different Standards

Not only does a women face an increased workload at home, and an unlevel playing field at work, but, even if she does succeed at work, against long odds, she is judged by different standards.

Consider the first female nominee for U.S. Attorney General, Zoe Baird, who, as Time magazine noted, was "drawn and quartered" for decisions she made regarding a family concern: quality child care. Right or wrong, had a male nominee ever been asked about his child care arrangements? The answer is no.

Reaching Critical Mass May Finally Mean a Level Playing Field

Many experts agree that the workplace won't change until there has been a significant shift towards more women in the top positions of power. As Orenstein notes, "According to a Families and Work Institute report, having a few token women in top positions doesn't affect the culture of an institution. It's not until women fill half or more of upper-level jobs that companies become more likely to provide near-site day care, elder care resource and referral programs and that options such as flextime can be pursued without penalty.

As an example of the change which can happen when men fully understand the "life balance" issue, Orenstein cites Lewis Platt, CEO of Hewlett-Packard whose wife died of cancer and who then, "juggling a demanding job as a single parent.. had a conversion experience" and transformed HP into a beacon of family friendly policies. When Platt retired, he was replaced by a woman, one of 3 women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. So, workplace transformation definitely is possible, but, as the author poses the question with plaintive irony: "Do women really have to die in order for men to see the light?"

Moving Towards Change : Strategies for Successful Career Integration

Communication With Their Peers

Women should seek to dialogue with other working women about these choices and challenges in order not to feel isolated or that the fault lies with them

Higher Aspirations by Women

Women sometimes do not "actively work toward promotion". Women must reflect higher aspirations and never stop seeking to advance in their careers.

Financial Independence

Women must seek to achieve and maintain financial independence because of expected additional years in the workforce and because a realistic look at statistics shows that women are most at risk for financial hardship as they age.

Enhancement of Career Opportunities

To enhance career opportunities and remain current and viable in their careers, women must take advantage of diverse learning experiences, volunteer for opportunities or positions which lead to additional experiences and seek advice of mentors, experts or colleagues.

The Equal Partner Conundrum

Negotiate with your husband, before marriage, or now, if you are already married, on what responsibilities he is willing to share so you can continue to grow and advance.

Negotiate with your employer about what family friendly policies she or he is willing to institute to attract, retain and increase the productivity of more women, who make up 50% of the "best and brightest" in the workforce.

Change

Since women are still only a small % of corporate officers, we can't expect this change to come overnight, or even in the next year or two, but we can begin. As someone once said, there is magic in beginnings.

As society gradually transforms, and the workplace continues to change, both women and men have an obligation to reevaluate and recast the old dichotomy about women's roles at home and work. Men should be encouraged to be more nurturing at home and women should strive to reach their full potential at work.

Both men and women professionals should join together and see that changes in the workplace are conscious and consistent, not only with allowing women to achieve their career aspirations, but with helping families achieve more balance and greater contentment

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