Category Archives: work – family balance

Women In The Workplace: We’re Here, Try To Get Used To Us

Women In The Workplace, AdvancingWomen.com

For some reason…who knows why…could  be generations of stereotyping ….plenty of things about women in the workplace still puzzle many a male manager.

As an HR leader and working woman for a generation, Liz Ryan has compiled a Top Ten list of tidbits that the women in your workplace would love for you to know. We’ve selected four to share with you but for the rest, go to Women In The Workplace, AdvancingWomen.com

  • Don’t assume that I don’t know what I’m doing.

It shouldn’t happen, after all these years, but female software engineers still report that their male colleagues say things like “Check her code again, just in case.” Because she’s a woman. And it shouldn’t happen, but when a woman gets promoted, someone is sure to say “Well, they must have needed more women in management.” What if she’s just, well, qualified? Can we assume that men and women are equally equipped to do their jobs?

  • Don’t worry about my family – they’re fine.

Working women report being caught in a vise – when they’re going great guns at work, their bosses still give them less challenging assignments or stall their career growth “for the sake of your kids.” They’re my kids, for Pete’s sake! I’m perfectly capable of deciding how many hours at the office, how much travel, and what size job I can manage while parenting them. You, as my boss, have nothing to do with it.

  • Don’t dismiss my non-linear judgment.

It’s well established that women’s and men’s brains operate differently. But there’s a great tendency in the corporate world to pooh-pooh and belittle the non-linear, intuitive decision-making that so many women are so good at. If I’m getting the right answer most of the time, I deserve to get airtime: even if I don’t lay out my argument in your favored Powerpoint-style, data-driven format.

  • Don’t make me your mother, or your child.

It happens every day: a working woman realizes that her male boss or co-worker has substituted her for his mom or daughter, to her utter dismay. If you’re treated with respect, kid gloves, deference and have no influence in decisions – and are “protected” from bad news – then you’re Mom. If you’re treated graciously and carefully and kept out of difficult or thorny situations, you’re somebody’s surrogate daughter. Women won’t tolerate that. We are just who we are – women that you hired, women who will make your company thrive and flourish, if you let us.

Liz Ryan is a former Fortune 500 HR executive, workplace expert , writer, consultant and speaker (http://www.asklizryan.com). Liz lives in Boulder, Colorado.

Let us know what you think, or comment and share your own workplace stories.

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Women’s Workplace Balancing Dilemma

I love her, with all my heart, and if ever I k...

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Changing Expectations and Strategies to Achieve Successful Career Integration

Society is sending women conflicting messages about which elements constitute success for a woman. Should she bake a perfect blueberry pie and chauffeur around kids with sparkling white socks, or should she aspire to be a corporate attorney for a Fortune 500 company and hire a nanny and a cook to shoulder some of the household duties.

In fact, both of those images conjure up a type of perfectionism women should aspire to, which, in itself, is a problem. The fact that both ideals are diametrically opposed makes a choice even more painful. To achieve great success in one area, almost certainly means giving up on great success in the other, at least, as both work and family are structured today.

Starkly put, this ambivalence about women’s role assumes that it is not possible to fulfill both roles as well as one should and, consciously or unconsciously, results in the “dumbing down” of women, who often choose less demanding careers, or avoid some career tracks altogether.

At times, women have taken it upon themselves to lower their expectations at work, in order to fulfill their obligations at home. A woman might choose to stay in a position in human resources, for example, rather than seek as job as a line executive, responsible for profits. Her career prospects would definitely be enhanced as a line executive but that career path might force her to travel, or subject her family to frequent moves.

This avoidance of career opportunities not only extracts an emotional as well as career price, hindering advancement but also affects the balance of power in the home, as the primary wage earner garners more prestige and respect and increasingly dominates the decision making. This unfortunate cycle leaves the woman with even fewer choices and increasingly less opportunity to grow and move along a successful career path.

Kim Babjak in StartupNation Blog writes Take me serious, or else!: “How do we get taken seriously about being sister-preneurs?  My husband, I love to death and have been with for 25 yrs… needs to be continually trained and educated on the principals of homemaker/entrepreneurism. I am sad to say that the topic of the current Sara Palin phenomenon that I do not understand; how can you be a mom and run the world?

Well we can! We just need to delegate well.

I will tell you that as a mother of FOUR boys, just last night I had to once again snap hubby back into the reality of mom-preneurism.

It was our fourth child’s birthday, I ran around all day gathering items for the birthday, plus clean house, and I took off work to be with them as mommy….

Then hubby gets off work, scott free from anything. At the end of the evening, me being tuckered out, asked hubby, who did -0- to help out with anything, complained when I asked him to rub my sore, tired feet……YIKES! (no matter how successful you are, or become, we all have the same problems, just on different days!)

Moral of the story….men will always see us, consciously or unconsciously, (depends on what PhD you ask)as the one who takes care of the home, kids, HIM, and oh yes your home office thing!

Girls….It is a matter of conditioning, reinforcement and firm commitment to ease/shift the home and kid responsibility to the family for help. Take care when doing this, do not cause tension, for that will ultimately cause more stress. Teach without them knowing they are being taught.

My solution…..first talk and make clear your requests….

Second….if not responding…..reiterate your needs…

Third…..start going to dinner by yourself and movies, giving the family time to fend for themselves….

If all else fails…STRIKE!

There has to be a balance of power and commitment for both sides, keep pressing until it is reached.”

Moving Towards Change : Strategies for Successful Career Integration

Communication With Their Peers

Women should seek to dialogue with other working women about these choices and challenges in order not to feel isolated or that the fault lies with them

Higher Aspirations by Women

Women sometimes do not “actively work toward promotion“. Women must reflect higher aspirations and never stop seeking to advance in their careers.

Financial Independence

Women must seek to achieve and maintain financial independence because of expected additional years in the workforce and because a realistic look at statistics shows that women are most at risk for financial hardship as they age.

Enhancement of Career Opportunities

To enhance career opportunities and remain current and viable in their careers, women must take advantage of diverse learning experiences, volunteer for opportunities or positions which lead to additional experiences and seek advice of mentors, experts or colleagues.

The Equal Partner Conundrum

Negotiate with your husband, before marriage, or now, if you are already married, on what responsibilities he is willing to share so you can continue to grow and advance.

In the final analysis, AdvancingWomen.com agrees with author Kim Babjak : “If all else fails…STRIKE!”

For more, go here:

Was that “Bring HomeThe Bacon” or “Bring Home The Baby”? Coping With The Conflicting Demands of Career & Family

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